captured by webcam@ Starbucks Warisan Sq.29th October 2009, Thursday
Its like i've been with Bonn almost everyday. Well, between us both things are working quite good. Despite some day he might pissed me off. But hell yeah, i am a forgiver. I forgive him, and yes i did pause & think, till when shall i be a forgiving person. By the way, i only being a forgiver when i am with him. Its not fair. So this is relationship.Being biased. You tend to lose your sight and your hearings when you FEEL you are totally madly in love. Oh yes, it does.Dont lie.
Sometimes, somehow i was thinking does this worth everything in my life that i showered him? i mean this relationship. surprisingly we have been more than a year together. =) ..yet, i just dont feel that time passes so fast, and, and.......... and (so many 'and') ..and i feel tired .. but God has His own way.. i love bonn so much. i dint realize. but everyday when i tell myself how much i love him, i tell myself too, i would rather let him go if we are meant to be separated. i dont know. its just that these past few weeks, i been thinking, love is no selfish. love is free. love meets patience, love rejoice happiness because love shall not angry nor frust. that was those thing that planted in my mind. its says like the proverb ' if you love something, set it free, if it comes back, its meant for you'..
I spent my whole thursday with Bonn. =) We talked a lot. Giggled a lot. It reminds me of our first met up. It was funny.We hold each other's hand and did source something out about ourselves. And we did today too. Talked bout some past history about ourselves. It was sweet and now i understand why sometimes the way he pissed me off is to gain my attention. =)
Bonn been advising me on certain things. Avoid somebody. Avoid the chiss-miss. He says its not worth it. Its not worth losing the good friend. I never knew he was such a good observer until he spoken to me about whats going on. He explained to me. If you think i was 'di-gula gulakan' by him, well, its not. I was never influence by bonn, i gave myself time to think and before i made up my mind, choosing which is true and right or wrong.
People, we make friends along the way.
However, you did hear what i have told you. Yet you have not even consider which road you taken. Okay, so i shall leave you. You never listen to me. You go with the flow, but have you think what you said before? did you excute what you had spoken? I am just being afraid how many people will lose this trust on you. Yes, indeed its your life. Your decision your rights. Dear, i dare not lose you in the dark pit. What if you were in the other way round? Would you call another person stupid making this decision? I know its too late to say anything. But i am praying hard for you, happy always and always.
I may not say directly this to you. Because being your friend, i dont know, maybe i would have lose you when i say this right at your face or you would misintepret my meaning, either way .. in a way its making you happy, but the other part, you are just making mistakes. And yes those mistakes, only you and i know. Until which level it has reach. I am not trying to ruin your dream or fantascies or destroying what you may now see as the greatest of all, but dear friend of mine, have you ever think how long this could survive?
I am sorry if you would be mad at me for pouring out here. But i guess no body will know who you may be and yes, no body knows. Today i was bit frustrated with you .. i am..indeed. deeply. =( i miss the old you. the one who is sensible and less-mind interrupted you! i miss you! i do! give me a hug when you read this. i dont mean to hurt you or what so ever. but yeah, if you think so, then its up to you. Demi Tuhan, i wrote this just to make you understand what i am thinking. And being your friend, i the want best for you.
Dear friend of mine, i dont want to lose you. =(
